I have begun a Kundalini Yoga Teacher training. This  training began in September and will end in June. I am already learning so much about myself. We are currently doing a 22 minute meditation for 22 days. I wanted to share some words from Yogi Bhajan since I haven’t been on this blog in forever and wanted to start writing in it again. It is wild how much I have changed and learned about myself since the last time I wrote.

Patience pays. Wait. Let the hand of God work for you. One who has created you let Him create all the environments, circumstances, and facilities & faculties.

Tu kaahay dolay praaniaa tudh rakhaygaa sirjanhaar | jin paidayas tu kiyaa soee kardaa saar

Oh individual, why you are in a very doubtful state? One who has made you will take care of you. One who has created this universe, all the planets, planetary faculties and facilities on Earth, He is the One who has created you. Wait, have patience, lean on him, and all best things will come to you.

Dwell in God. Dwell in God. Dwell in God. Befriend your soul. Dwell in God and befriend your soul. Dwell in God and befriend your soul. All the faculties and facilities of the Creation, which are in your best interest, shall be at your feet. You need million things; million things will reach you, if you are stable, established, firm, patient. Remember, Creator watches over you and Creation is ready to serve you, if you just…be you.

So please take away the ghost of your life and stop chasing around. Consolidate. Concentrate. Be you. And may all the peace & peaceful environments, prosperity approach you forever. Sat Nam”

“It is not only saints but everything in nature-trees, birds, animals-they all live for the sake of others. Why does a candle burn and melt away? To give light. Why does an incense stick burn to ash? To give fragrance. Why does a tree grow? To give fruit and flowers. Is there anything, sentient and insentient, in this world that lives for its own sake? No. Whne the entire nature sacrifices, why hould we human beings alone lead selfish lives? We are here to give and give and give and give. What is due to us will come without our worrying about it….

So you do everything with the idea that you are preparing yourself to serve others. Even the practice of mediatation is not done just for your own peace but is done because with a peaceful mind you can go out into the world and serve well. With that very idea you can meditate.  So, even your Yogic meditation becomes a selfless action. That is what is meant by “Even with God do not have attachment.” This vairagya, non-attachment, alone is enough to change your entire life into a joyful one.

“When our mind is free from personal interest we do our work well and feel joyful.  Our lives become meaningful.”

“One you are unattached in your personal life, you can serve others, and by doing that you will find more and more joy.”

“If you control your mind, you have controlled everything. Then there is nothing in this world to bind you.”

“If you feel bound, you are bound. If you feel liberated, you are liberated. Things outside neither bind nor liberate you; only your attitude towards them does that.”

We as hoopers have something we can go to when we are depressed and need an outlet. Also, of course we can go to it when we are happy, but it really helps serve a need for yourself when you are feeling low. Ann mentioned one of  the main reasons why she hoops is to suffer less. This also resonated with me and my life. Hooping is one of the things in my life that brings joy!  Hooping has been an outlet for me since December and I have been practicing at least twice a week if not more.. Bax mentioned that if we are having a tough year to HOLD ON. That is what I am going to keep on doing. I need to hold on and know that everything will get better and everything is going to be okay. “Every little thing’s gonna be Alright.”

Everyone in this life at some point is confused, is lonely, is depressed, sad, we all have joy and death that we experience. We as humans experience the same emotions and many of the same life experiences.

I wrote a few things that I am going to Let Go of in the Fire last night. The main one is:

-Taking Antidepressants
I have been off and on of these for six years and it is ridiculous! I experience the same ups and downs as I would without taking them- So why do I take them every morning? Treating sadness and/or a difficult time/periods of transition with A PILL is just a way for the pharmaceutical companies to make more money.  Right? What did humans do when they didn’t have zoloft or prozac? They had to figure it out themselves! They also had to rely on others to help them through a rough spot.  These ups and downs we experience are part of LIFE. When did society decide to trade love and help from friends and family in replace of a “happy pill?”

-Chaotic Thinking

My mind races daily and thinks about everything under the sun! There are so many more important things in life than the guy I want to date or am dating and where I am going to be 5 years from now. Shit, I could get hit by a car in tomorrow, ya know? If I focus my attention towards others, my mind all of a sudden becomes clearer. My attention is finding awareness others, instead of dwelling in self-pity or unproductive thoughts.

-Worry

This I am going to have to work on letting go of.  I think all of us are worriers, I am not blaming society, but I do think there are certain aspects of the current society we live in that makes us that way. There are many challenges that we have to face in society..but I am just gonna have to take it one breath at a time. That is really all I can do! It is just silly to worry about things you have no control over.

-Fear

There are so many things in life to be afraid of, but what is the point in living in fear?  That is a negative emotion that creates weakness and sadness within.  If you are fearful then how can you lift anyone else up?

-Past

The past is gone, it no longer remains in the universe.  I have learned lessons along the way and can bring those to the present, but there is no point in dwelling on the past, something that is not even here anymore.

-Future

The universe will unfold the way it will…I am just along for the ride.

-Self-Hate

Love thyself! Be happy and content just the way I am in this present moment!

-Patterns of Self-Destruction

I seem to have patterns of this in my life…drinking and drugs had a hold on me and my life during my college years, but sometimes I can still do things that are self-destructing. The way I think or the people I surround myself with can cause this. I am now only going to focus on the things that are positive and the people and things that encourage me and make me smile and laugh! 

Hooping is to help us to SUFFER LESS as individuals in this crazy world. To keep us sane! To help us smile and laugh! To challenge our bodies and our minds!

I want to love with all my heart- everyone and all beings. I want others to receive from the love that mother earth gives and surrounds me with. I do have someone who loves me and holds me down and keeps me grounded. That is my mother earth. Her loving arms and guidance keep me standing still on this spinning universe. I feel as though this year around the sun is going to be a year of discovery and dreams. I strive for contentment in my 27th year.

Love- Light- Peace

Yes I am teaching yoga again! I took a break on teaching and had to recenter and refocus my heart, body, mind and much more. I spent the time focusing more on my yoga practice and and on fresh new experiences happening in many areas of my life. I am  happy to start teaching again! The days and times of the classes that I will be teaching so far this summer are:

Monday July, 12, 5:45 to 7:15        (Open Heart Yoga School)

Sunday, July 18, 10:30 to 12pm     (CYCO)

Sunday, July 25, 9:30 to 11am        (CYCO)

Sunday, Aug. 15, 9:30 to 11am        (CYCO)

and 6 to 7:30pm                                  (CYCO)

Sunday, August 15, 9:30 to 11am   (CYCO)

I will keep you posted on other dates I will be teaching and I am hoping a spot will open up on Sunday or Monday for me to have  a set class on the schedule! Hope to see you in class!

Love, Light, and Peace!

The only answers I have to find this freedom is yoga. I feel as though I have searched high and wide for freedom and have only found it through peace and while I am in a serene state. When I breath at a steady and slow pace. This is when I think of nothing. I think of the blue sky or a radiant beam shining from above. How the hell does one find bliss in the American Society?

I have experienced small portions of bliss through yoga and hooping but I want to carry that feeling of bliss and freedom all day, everyday. I want positivity to shine through me! I feel like it used to – but am not sure what happened since then. Maybe I think about it too much. It used to just BE THERE! But now I am seeking for it…

I am really only using this blog for personal expression. I don’t really have any humor in my writing- but i sure do love to laugh. That is a key to my heart is laughing- it is so GOOD for the soul! I think that is one of the reason I have two animals – they make me laugh so much!!! Soybean was chasing after chickens today and I had to pull her away from them with their feathers in her mouth! It was crazy but kept life real for me! I had to chase her across the street after she almost got hit by a car and drag her away from the chicken she was trying to devour!! Maybe? the more I write the more humor will evolve.

I have also felt feelings of absolute BLISS when I am on stage. I think this is  because I was acting as a different person. I was not myself.  But how do differentiate between reality vs. non reality? The feeling of being someone different for 2 hours and not having a care in the world? I didn’t worry about anything at all for 2 hours in a theater or dance performance. I was sharing that with others as well. I was giving them that same feeling. An audience isn’t concerned with their outside worries and fears- but they are watching the production being performed in front of their eyes. They are enwrapped in another story besides their own. It is creating  and experiencing art and becoming selfless simultaneously.

Yoga is so self centered, but while you focus on the self you become more selfless. I would like to discover this aspect of yoga more! This is something interesting to DIG and DIVE into.

It is funny to read my blog from a year or so ago. I was so content then and now I am so confused! Hahah but I am okay with being that way. As long as I can sort through this shit. I feel like I have creative outlets that will help me take a path of self-disovery and I WILL BE OKAY.

Peace , Love, and A BIG FRIGGIN HUG to whomever -if anyone is reading this…  

I am going to cosmetology school starting March 23rd. I am super excited about it. I have learned what I enjoy and what I don’t. It is a huge step to me to come to these realizations. I love living in Carrboro/Chapel Hill. I have been through some trying and joyful experiences since I have been here and hope to continue experiencing more joyful ones! I know I can’t stand being behind a desk..and I definitely won’t do that when I am cutting hair! I am going to learn makeup and nails too. I don’t wear much makeup at all but would love to do makeup for a  Broadway show one day! Or local theater shows!  Wouldn’t it be awesome to put the makeup on the actors of the Lion King or Wicked!?! By the way I am so stoked about seeing Wicked in April! The  show is coming to the Durham Performing Arts Center!

I have had to let a few folks down while making this decision but feel it will be a really good step in a unique path for myself. I can’t teach yoga and creative movement for kids this year at Shakori Hills because I will be in school. I have done this for the past three or four festivals I think! I love love love Grassroots Festival and really want to hoop there this year..since I have improved  since last October. That is when I first learned how to hoop! At a hooping workshop underneath the Dance Tent! Hooping has changed my life completely and I am sure there is much more transformation to come along the path. Hooping is helping me move forward throughout the chaos.  A glass of wine at night helps too

I am so thankful to have been introduced to cosmetology by my aunt and hoop DANCE by Shakori Hills and Carrboro. Who knows maybe one day I will own Hoops and Hair Salon in NC! Specialized made hula hoops and a bright new shiny hair do to go along with your matching hoop! Hahah. I wonder how I could incorporate puppetry and theater in may salon? Hmmm. I would love to have an all organic salon and spa one day too.

I am happy to no longer be floating in the midst of figuring out my path. I am on the path I should be on. I just need to now enjoy the ride and live in the present.

I have recently made several decisions where I trusted my heart and intuition. I felt positive I couldn’t go wrong with things I had decided. I was so disappointed to find out that what I thought my intuition was telling me was wrong!!! Either I was not reading it correctly or maybe I shouldn’t follow that gut feeling anymore.

If I can’t follow my heart and intuition, what am I supposed to follow? I have based so much of my current life on this idea. I have been proved wrong in my beliefs. That hits my mind and heart hard.

I am thankful I have found hula hooping so when my head spins like crazy…my hoop is spinning faster. The hoop spins and slows down my mind.  I find happiness when I am with my sweet cat and dog, Leary and Soybean (my new dawg)! I  completely confused about trusting  my intuition now! I have learned throughout my life to trust the gut feeling within. Any ideas on why I am feeling the way I feel or how this could have occurred? Has anyone ever experienced this same feeling?

I  was becoming stagnant and burnt out in my yoga practice. I am so thrilled to find my body moving in a completely different way than it ever has before. I have had lots of movement experience with acting, yoga, modern, jazz, tap, african dance, cheerleading etc. I thought I knew every form of movement! Hahaha I was soo wrong! I get to jam to whatever tunes I want to when I hoop, which reminds me of dance class! I am doing different moves than my body has ever made before~ it is so awesome! I am still learning and really have to work on hooping round’ my shoulders but I am having fun in the learning process. Hooping helps me unwind after a long stressful day, makes me smile, laugh, and act a fool!I find my inner joy in the hoop! It is so exciting at 26 to find something new that I love!

I am really excited about moving into my new apartment in a few days! I will have a big space to practice hula hooping and can have my yoga practice in there as well. As long as Leary (my kitty) doesn’t mess with me. It will be a change of pace to live by myself and Leary only but am looking forward to it.  I am hoping to release stress and discover new things.

Happy New Year! Peace and Love Friends.